How Far Have We Come?

How often do you lie?

Once a week? Twice a month? A few times a year?

Now, imagine lying every minute of every day to everyone closest to you.

For middle aged Bruce Bechdel, this scenario was his never ending reality. And, worse than lying to his family, he was lying to himself. Though he married Helen Augusta, secretly, he was concealing his homosexuality. His wife pretended not to notice her husband's true nature, but her loveless marriage was eating away at her.

Enter Alison Bechdel, daughter of Helen and Bruce and author of her comic book style memoir “Fun Home” (which was later adapted into a Tony award winning musical of the same name) about her experiences with her gay father and discovering her own homosexuality. Like her father, she is gay. Unlike her father, she did not hide it, and lived past the age of forty four.

Bruce Bechtel died by stepping out in front of a truck on the shoulder of a highway.

This act had been the culmination of a lifetime spent suppressing his inner feelings. He committed suicide just a few months after his daughter coming out about her sexuality. While nineteen year old Alison Bechdel was discovering who she really was away at college, her father was wondering what had happened to his once promising life. Instead of dealing with his identity like his daughter, he had a series of extramarital affairs with men. Perhaps saddest of all, he struggled to accept himself. Watching this story performed as a musical on a colorful stage, it can be easy to forget that these people aren’t made up characters and their struggle didn’t come out of someone’s imagination. Tragedies likes this still happen to real people every day. “Fun Home” is the true memoir of the horrific events that shattered the lives of so many people. And because of what? Bruce Bechdel didn’t have to die. His daughter didn’t have to suppress her true feelings until she went to college. But for Alison, coming out was a little easier, because she accepted herself first, and then shared it with others, saying that “It was OK to be gay in 1980”. And yet, despite their similar feelings, her father forced her to wear feminine clothes to parties even though she begged to be allowed to wear masculine ones. When this happened, she “felt like [she] was living some kind of lie. It was not pleasant”. Alison Bechdel faced these struggles coming out in 1980. And though it has been nearly forty years since then, people still struggle with accepting others for who they really are. And although it has been over eighty years since Bruce Bechdel was born, still people are being discriminated against and shamed for their feelings. Just last Tuesday, a case went to the Supreme court because a baker refused to bake a cake for the wedding of two gay men. And, only twenty six countries around the world have legalized same-sex marriage. Additionally, in fourteen American states, same-sex marriage has yet to be allowed. So, although matters have improved since Bruce Bechdel fought with his identity, and even since Alison Bechdel struggled with hers, the world still has a long way to go. No one deserves to be subjected to the hate and discrimination many gay citizens face today. Alison Bechdel’s “Fun Home” is a critical examination into the acceptance and tolerance of family members, but can also be applied to much of the world at large. Theater bridges an important gap between people of the world and controversial information, and truly holds “the mirror up to nature” (William Shakespeare). It is important for us as humans to remember that though our world has come a long way, we still have a long way to go. With each passing day we strive to take one step closer to equality for all and one step further away from hate that drives us apart.

“And love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love, cannot be killed or swept aside...Now fill the world with music, love, and pride.”

-Lin-Manuel Miranda